Marriage in Islam
In Islam, marriage is the valid legal contract between two marriageable men and women to form a conjugal relationship and its recognition. In Islam, the bride can agree or disagree with the marriage according to her own wishes a formal and firm marriage contract is considered marriage in Islam, which delineates the mutual rights and duties of the bride and groom. The marriage must be attended by two Muslim witnesses and there is a prescribed dowry for the bride. Marriage in Islam is a Sunnah or ideal of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and is strongly advised to marry in Islam. The marriage must be performed according to the basic rules of Islamic marriage. Besides, asceticism and celibacy are strongly opposed in Islam. Although divorce is frowned upon in Islam, it is permitted and remains the responsibility of the husband, but the wife can seek the right of divorce from the husband and enforce it on herself and on behalf of the husband.
Allah Ta'ala says-
"And do not marry polytheist women until they accept faith. Surely a Muslim slave is better than a polytheist free woman, even if (because of worldly glitter, beauty, or wealth) they please you. And you (women) do not marry a polytheist man until he believes. A Muslim slave is better than a free polytheist, even if you are fascinated by them. They (disbelievers/polytheists) call you to Hell, and Allah calls you to Paradise and Forgiveness by His command. And He makes His instructions clear to the people so that they accept the advice.” [Surah Al-Baqara, verse 211]
Elsewhere in the Qur'an, it is said,
'He has created you (husband and wife) as partners for each other and has instilled in you mutual love and kindness.' (Surah Room-21)
Elsewhere in the Qur'an, it is said,
'Wives are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.' (Surah Baqarah-187)
Qualities of a good man to marry
Those who have the ability, are attracted to marriage, Allah Ta'ala has ordered them to marry. Moreover, marriage is one of the Sunnah of all Prophets. Just as there are guidelines for choosing a bride for marriage, there are certain suitable qualities and qualifications for choosing a groom. What qualifications and qualities of the groom are very important for marriage?
One of the qualifications of the bridegroom for marriage is 'religion and purity of character. That is the bridegroom who fears Allah performs the fard prayers properly and avoids the haram. And it is good from the point of view of conduct, that plum is suitable and good for marriage. It has been mentioned in the hadith-
Messenger (saw) said, 'If a man comes to you with a proposal of marriage whose religion and character you like; then give your daughters in marriage to him. If you do not do this, then there will be a lot of strife in the land.' (Tirmidhi)
In this hadith, two qualities of the groom are mentioned. One is religiousness and the other is character purity. So these two qualities of a suitable vessel for marriage.
Many people also consider worldly wealth as a condition for a suitable groom. It is not really correct. Because Almighty Allah declares-
`Perform the marriage of those among you who remain unmarried, and (give marry) those of your servants and maidservants who are righteous. If they are destitute without wealth, then Allah will provide them all with His grace. Allah is Bountiful, All-Knowing.' (Surah Noor: Verse 32)
What quality grooms are suitable for marriage?
According to the declaration of the Qur'an and Sunnah, Islamic scholars prioritize four factors in the selection of grooms to be suitable for marriage. During the marriage, the groom has to stay the things, such as below-
a. Religion and religiosity: A girl cannot be given in marriage to an irreligious non-Muslim or infidel. Again, do not marry the daughter of Nekkar with Fasek.
b. Free: No free daughter should be married to a slave.
c. Clan prestige: the marriage of a bride to a groom of a clan with a reputation for good deeds. Do not marry the bride to someone of low caste.
d. Profession: If the bride's family is of good and high descent, then not to marry someone of low descent (at the level of barber, washerman, and cobbler).
Hazrat Imam Malek (Ra) has defined religion and purity of character as appropriate good qualities for a groom.
Hazrat Mulla Ali Qari (Ra) said, "If the groom has no suitable attributes other than religion and character, and the bride is satisfied with that, then there is no problem in the marriage being pure."
Wealth or the ability to pay more dowry is not the appropriate quality of a groom, but the quality of a safe and good groom for the bride will be religiousness and purity of character.
Qualities of a good woman to marry
Islam mentions marriage as a religious demand. Through marriage, men and women get the right to choose each other as life partners.
Women are created by Allah Ta'ala with a loving, innate sense of shyness and elegance, which is most abundant in veiled virgins. This is why Allah Ta'ala created the women of Paradise as eternal virgins. The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Marry virgins, because they are sweet-spoken, bear many children, and are satisfied with little." [Tabarani, the hadith is Hasan Sahih]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked - Which type of girl is best for marriage? In response, he said - the husband who pleases her wife when he sees her, does what she is ordered to do and does not do anything contrary to her husband's choice regarding her own husband's wealth. (Musnad Ahmad)
You may know- Hoor in Islam | Description of Hoor in Islam
According to Islam, marriage is mandatory for a healthy, strong, and capable person. Since people choose a life partner through marriage, Islamic Shari'a legalizes the meeting of the bride and groom before marriage. Rather, it encouraged it. So that there is no dissatisfaction in married life.
It is said in the Qur'an, "Marry women whom you like." (Surah Nisa, verse 3)
Hazrat Mughira Ibn Shuba (RA) said I proposed marriage to a woman. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to me, 'Have you seen him? I said no. He said, Look at him. Because in this love will grow between you both.' (Mishkatul Masabih, Hadith: 3107)
In another hadith, a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said that he wanted to marry an Ansari girl. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, 'Have you seen him? Because there is a fault in the eyes of the Ansar.' (Sahih Muslim)
From this hadith it is understood that it is not enough to see; rather, the other party has the right to know whether there is any defect in the bride or groom.
Shari'ah does not allow men of her family other than the husband to visit the bride. And embarrassing things like hair pulling and walking are definitely avoidable.
Many consider the bride's beauty and wealth as a consideration during the marriage. If any error is noticed in this case, the girl and her family start commenting. So the girl's family suffers, and is heartbroken. For example, the girl is black, her eyes are not beautiful, her lips are thick, etc. Islam strictly prohibits such comments.
Rasulullah (s.a.w.) said to give preference to spiritual and faith beauty over external beauty.
He said, "Marry a woman by looking at her four qualities: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion." But you will prioritize religion. Otherwise, you will be harmed.' (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 5090)
There are many types of wealth in this world but the best wealth in this world is a virtuous wife. If you marry someone who is unbelieving or has a defect in religion for the sake of wealth or beauty, you will be deprived of many benefits and peace in both this world and the hereafter. In this context, Prophet (saw) said, "People usually marry women by looking at four qualities, their wealth, lineage, beauty, and religion. You prefer pious women to marriage. If you do not give preference to pious women, your hands will surely be covered in dust. [Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Mishkat: 3082, 3090]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said - All the things of the world are goods and the best goods are wives of good character - (Musnad Ahmad).
Narrated by Jabir Ibn Abdullah (RA):
He said we were returning from Jihad with the Prophet (peace be upon him). I was trying to speed up my weak camel. At that time, a rider poked my camel from behind me with a stick, and the camel started moving as fast as you see a good camel moving. Look back at the Prophet (peace be upon him). He asked me, Jabir, what is the reason for you to act so quickly? I replied I am newly married. He asked, virgin or widow? I replied, widow. He said, did you marry a virgin girl? With whom to play and joke and he used to play and joke with you. The narrator said, "When we entered Madinah, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to me, 'You wait and enter at night, so that the wife of an absent husband may arrange her untidy hair and clean her hair.' [Ahmad 13117]
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