Husband and wife
The better and sweeter the relationship between husband and wife, the more happiness and peace will increase in married life. It is known from the Qur'an and Hadith that good wives are those who respect their husbands properly because proper respect for each other is the way to achieve success in this world and the hereafter.
The
proof of how deep the relationship between husband and wife is, Allah Almighty
declares in the Holy Quran:
"They
are your clothing and you are their clothing." (Surah Baqarah: Verse 187)
Almighty
Allah also says in the Holy Qur'an,
“Another
sign of His is that He has created for you your companions from among
yourselves, so that you may feel peace with them, and He has created mutual
kindness and favor between you. Verily in it are signs for those who think.”
(Surah Rum, verse 21)
Husband's behavior toward his wife
The husband's behavior with his wife will be good. Treating one's wife well is the Sunnah of
the Prophet himself. He treated his wives well. It is absolutely necessary for
the ummah to learn from the behavior of the Prophet. Because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) was an exemplary role model in good behavior
towards wives and overall cooperation in what to do. It is proved in several
narrations of hadith.
Hazrat
Ayesha (RA) was asked, did Prophet (PBUH) used to work in the house (with the
help of his wives)? In reply, Hazrat Ayesha (RA) said, Prophet (PBUH) used to
participate in various activities in the service of the people of the house.
When it was time to pray, he would go out. (Bukhari)
Prophet
(PBUH) did his own work. He helped his wife with housework. It is mentioned in
the hadith-
Allama
Ibn Hajar Asqalani said Umm al-Mu'minin Hazrat Aisha (RA) said, Prophet (PBUH)
used to sew his clothes with his own hands; He used to mend his own shoes and
take part in all household chores.' (Fathul Bari)
Allah
Ta'ala has addressed husband and wife as one in the Qur'an. Allah says:
'Then
their Lord accepted their supplication (saying) that I do not destroy the labor
of any workers, whether male or female; you are of one another.' (Surah Imran:
Verse 195)
The
Qur'an declares that men's behavior towards women and women's behavior towards
men will be beautiful and harmonious. No one will behave badly towards anyone.
Only then will a good relationship and sweet bond be created between husband
and wife. For this purpose, husband and wife will give due respect to each other.
In many cases, wives do not get proper status from their husbands. Likewise,
husbands do not get due respect from their wives. As a result of which chaos
started in family life. This is not desirable.
What the husband should do with his wife
The
greatest virtue of a husband is to be kind to his wife. To support and respect
the wife in her work. Especially husband's behavior with a wife should be like this-
i.
Always treat your wife well.
ii.
Be patient if your wife's words or actions bother you.
iii.
Convince the wife of her promiscuous or wrongful behavior again and again in
soft and gentle language.
iv.
Do not quarrel with your wife on the slightest pretext. Don't verbally threaten
and don't get angry whenever you get a chance.
v.
Do not talk to your wife about things that hurt your self-esteem. Stay calm
when such a situation arises.
vi.
Do not misjudge the wife with suspicion for no reason.
vii.
Not being indifferent to proper care and attention, including duty towards the
wife.
viii.
To give proper maintenance to the wife according to her ability. Again, to keep
an eye on the fact that there is no unnecessary wastage in the name of food.
ix.
Encouraging and persuading the wife to follow the rules of prayer and religion.
x.
To make arrangements to teach the wife well the important issues and rules in
various aspects of holy and conjugal life. Striving to prevent acts contrary to
Islamic Sariah.
xi.
If you have more than one wife, it is important to always give utmost
importance to equality among all.
xii.
Giving time to a wife as per her needs. Giving utmost importance to their needs
in socializing and moving. Even their opinions must be given utmost importance.
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xiii.
Not to commit ajal (in intercourse) without the permission of the wife. That
is, not leaving the usual place until the last moment during the intercourse.
xiv.
Don't divorce your wife if it is absolutely hopeless. Because divorce is the
worst legal act in Islam. If divorce is to be given, divorce should be given in
light of Islamic Sariah.
xv.
It is the husband's responsibility to provide food and lodging according to the
wife's normal needs. Carrying out this duty with utmost importance.
xvi.
Sometimes going to meet the close relatives of the wife with the wife. If the
husband does not get time, at least give the wife an opportunity to meet her
relatives.
xvii.
It is the exclusive duty of the husband not to reveal to anyone else the
description or picture of his association with his wife in any way.
xviii.
If the wife is negligent despite the utmost vigilance for the rights of the
wife, then if necessary warn the wife first. Then to rule lightly according to
the instructions of Islam. But not to rule more than what is permitted by
Islamic Sariah. Otherwise, if necessary, separate by mutual consent.
Wife's behavior toward her Husband
Prophet
(saw) said that women are the most feared. He said most of the women will go to
hell. Therefore, he has given much advice to women to make the husband-wife
relationship beautiful and safe in married life. Then they are careful to
preserve their husband's wealth as well as their own chastity. These two tasks
are the main duties of the wife in the presence or absence of her husband.
So
the wife should protect her honor and dignity in the presence and absence of
her husband. Involve yourself in the pleasure of your husband. It has been
mentioned in the hadith-
Prophet
(saw) said, "The best wife is (she who) makes you happy when you look at
her. When you command him he obeys and when you move outside he protects his
honor and wealth."
Moreover,
the good news of paradise has been given to a wife who obeys the rules of
Islamic law, obeys her husband, serves him, and protects her chastity. It is
mentioned in the hadith-
On
the authority of Hazrat Abdur Rahman Ibn Awf (RA), he said, Prophet (saw) said,
'A woman who prays five times, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her private
parts, and is loyal to her husband; it will be said to him - Enter Paradise
through any door you want.' (Musnad Ahmad)
Again,
the hadith strictly warns about the wife who does not treat her husband well
and is dissatisfied with him.
Prophet
(saw) said, 'None of his prayers is accepted, no good deed is exalted; As long
as the husband is not satisfied with her.' (Ibn Hibban)
How
a wife should behave with her husband is revealed in a woman's conversation
with the Holy Prophet. It is mentioned in the hadith-
On
the authority of Hazrat Hussain Ibn Muhsin, an aunty (according to their father) of
his came to the Prophet (saw) with a need. When his need was fulfilled, the Prophet
(saw) said, "Are you married?" She said, 'Yes'. The Prophet (saw)
said, how do you behave with your husband? He said I do not fail in his
service and obedience unless I am absolutely incompetent.
Then
the Prophet (saw), May God bless him and grant him peace, said, 'Think about
how you behave with your husband. Because the husband is your heaven or hell.
(Musnad Ahmad)
Conclusion
For a happy and peaceful married life, all husbands should verbally acknowledge and appreciate the work of their wives as well as help their wives even for a short period of time in family work. Only then will the husband's relationship with his wife be maintained. An image of a beautiful and peaceful family will emerge in family life. In the light of the Quran hadith, it is understood that the good relationship between husband and wife is not only important for happiness and peace in married life but also very important for success in the afterlife. So it is important to respect each other. May Allah Ta'ala grant all husbands and wives of the Muslim Ummah to live according to the Qur'an and Sunnah?
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